Overhauling

For the past year I have been stuck in a pathetic rut that I seem to get out of to only realize it was temporary. I recently had a conversation with a family member and had to really dig deep into myself to hinder what I really wanted to say. It wasn't my place nor did I agree with what was going on but at that moment I said to myself; self" This was the year of you and for the past 10 months you have been injured and unhappy. Buck up and get back on the horse there is no reason for you to be in the rut your in.....So things have no gone the way you expect the too....What does? However, it is your life and you need to live it. It's the only one your going to get......So get in gear and make what you want to happen....HAPPEN!!"


Therefore, the conversation went a totally different way that the family member expected because I did not yell (I am a yeller... Italian blood), I spoke rationally and tried to get what I had to say out and listened to the other. He felt it went good however I am still left with a great deal I wanted to say but feel it would fall on DEAF Ears (so to speak). So instead I decided when the conversation was over and left it at that. There was no hug after wards and the tension in the room was dissolved but our relationship has definitely changed. I see that and recognize that what I feel is family is very different than what he does. I guess I am more old school and traditional where he is not.

I feel not free but okay with it to a point and once I get over what I needed and wanted to say. It will be a year of me again.

Thanks for listening to my rant.