To resolute or Not too???

In the past I have made resolutions and broke them. Like loose weight, exercise...the ones that most people do when the NYE rolls around. For the past 2 years I have made NONE not ONE. Why do that to myself so I can grow irritated at myself about non realistic goals.

~In order to loose weight I need to change the way I eat...DONE
~In order to exercise I have to get my health in check and paying money to go to a gym that I am not into....waste of time.
~Read more, be a better person...

They all sound great and really I do all that anyway.

So this year I have decided three things:

1. Make more of an effort to keep in touch with people
2. Make more time for ME
3. No longer get involved with petty nonsense.

These three I believe I can handle believe it or not I think number 1 is going to be the most difficult. I am not a fan of the phone (past jobs), I have lost "touch" with some and feel that I need to make more of an effort to get back to good, with all the forms of communication that I should utilize at least one once a week.

So my fellow NYE resolution breakers make "REAL" resolutions not ones that require you to change who you are.

Singin in the Rain

For the past few days Cali
has been getting drenched.
And I have been
LOVING IT!

I love the rain. It clears
California UP.
It gets rid of the dirty streets,
causes Cauos,
(not a fan of that)
makes it cozy when you are
SLEEPING,
gives Californians another season
besides
HOT,
helps make the Holidays.

So bring on the RAIN.....
I am happy your hear.

Day 17: Christmas Baking and Recipes

Skipping this day.

Day 16 Christmas Gift Ideas

This year has been most trying.
I have had no motivation, no
interest and just no
SPIRIT!

Every year I have made
something and am so
excited to see
peoples
faces when I give it
to them that
I can't wait.
This year however
I could care less.
I don't know if its
all the the things going
on in my life,
the fact that I am stuck
or
that I am just not in
the mood.

I am SCROOGE
nice to meet you. Should be
my tag line. But I love giving
and helping I just
don't know where the spirit
went. Somehow
seeing all the people and dealing
with the lying, can hiving and ruthless
behavior from people working
"the system" has made me
loose the HAPPYness of
Christmas.

So my gift ideas have been
hard to put together.
I started xmas shopping in July
and BTW I am still not
DONE!

Day 15: 2010 Christmas Cards

Introducing my Brothers FAM!!
Arent' they adorable.
I am sharing their xmas card
because I do not have children
nor am I one of those people
who puts their PETS on
a card and sends it out.

My SIL and Bro are
currently expecting.
Along with my 2 nephews and niece
I will be getting another.

Happy Christmas Lil Bro
have a great year and enjoy your
fam.

Wee bit o Wednesday v27

{one} did you buy a christmas tree this year?No, I am not a fan of the fake tree and have no need for a real one
since I go to the parents houses for Christmas.

{two} what is your favorite holiday tradition?Watching football on Dec 26th

{three} do you open your gifts on christmas eve or christmas day?1 on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning.

{four} at what age did you stop believing in santa claus?Till I was 4 then I pretended for my parents sake.

{five} do you fill stockings?Yes, for everyone.

{six} handmade presents or store bought presents?I do both. I try anyway.

{seven} do you have a favorite christmas meal?My mom's food *drool*mmmmmm food coma

{eight} is your christmas tree real or artificial?FAKE
{nine} what is your favorite christmas song?This Christmas

{ten} did you send out christmas cards this year?No, I will when I have kids.

Move over Reality TV here comes CM

I am SO late to the party. But BOY OH BOY do I love me some CM. Being that I wanted to be a Profiler (ever since I say the TV PROFILER). I have been obsessed with this show. I Netflixed the first season; currently waiting for Season 2. Catching it on Iontv, USA, etc. every since chance I can. LOVEIN IT.

My favorite character is Spence. The geek with the golden heart. I can't wait to find out the background on all the characters and how they became BAU team.

Trust me you'll love it. Its intense, informative, and you learn something each and every episode. I GUARANTEE IT!!

Day 14 Past Christmas's and Gifts

Next see earlier posts.

Day 13 Show Us your Holiday Parties

I currently do not have any on this computer. Will find a few and post.

Day 12 Show US Family Christmas Pictures

I am skipping this one. I do not have Christmas pictures available and NO CHILDREN. Hopefully by next year I will have adopted a little girl and can share with you.

Day 11 Favorite Christmas Activities

I LOVE PLAYING GAMES.
Our family tradition is my brothers wake
up at the crack of dawn and get their stockings.
They look through theirs then mine and wake me up
after they play with everything.
(they have been doing this since they were old enough to walk)
We have breakfast (mom's homemade coffee cake...mmmm *drool*)
open gifts and then set up the dining room table
for games. We play hand and foot, pit, penny's,
spoons, Gin, Mexican Train the only one
I will NEVER play again is Monopoly.

Day 10 Holiday Shopping Tips

I have been noticing a pattern with my 25 days of Christmas RANT. I call it that because well I rant about how I miss the old days of celebrating, I am a bit of a scrooge and well I don't enjoy Christmas decorations.

HOWEVER, I do love giving. I love seeing the persons face when they open my gift and LOVE IT. Of course there are those times when I have also gotten tears...of JOY too. That is what makes all the difference in me not enjoying Christmas.

I do not enjoy that it has taken on a roll of going into debt and all about the gifts you "have" to buy. I enjoy making them and have kept a tradition on that for a few years now.

I have made personalized calendars, jewelry, magnets, photo frames, etc. This year I am going Eco-friendly and making personalized recycle bags for grocery stores or carrying things from the car to the house.

I have a few great shopping tips also for making crafts and getting perfect gifts"

1. shop around and use the internet to find the best deals
2. making gifts can get expense so plan ahead for the materials and purchase them throughout the year. EX. I found great bags 12 for $6.95 that is about $1.80 per bag. I got them here.
3. Dollar section is awesome. USE IT!!
4. Keep in mind that not everyone wants things for Christmas, so search for personalized item throughout the year. It cuts down on the cost at the end of the year and you can save big.
5. Check ADDS and compare
   
6. Go to the stores early in the morning avoid the rush of crowds.
7. for work parties and getting gifts search blogs for great ideas and MAKE it.
   
8. Get a list from not just family but friends too and get them early
9. Be creative and do searches online for crafts blogs are great.
10. HAVE FUN
    

Day 9 Favorite thing about the holidays

Simply said
FAMILY!!
I love spending time with my family.
I realize that in previous posts I have mentioned
what I miss about it as well.
But that being said I still have
and spend time with my family.

It has been rough for the last 10 years
however I have decided what traditions
and things I will take away from
my childhood to pass along
to my "coming" children.

That spending time with FAMILY
is the most important thing about
Christmas.

Day 8 Best Gift ever received

I think it would be my camera it is an SLR Cannon Rebel TI I love it. I am planning on getting a digital Cannon Rebel because I love my SLR so much. My dad got it for me when I decided to take a photo class. I have been meaning to get back out there and shoot some stuff but really haven't had the motivation maybe its time I did it now.

Wee bit o Wednesday v26

{one} if you were granted three wishes, what would they be?1) my parents were not ill or sick 2) no worries about money for my
family and friends 3) that i had a child

{two} who is your favorite author?that's a hard one....i like all kinds of authors
Rachel Vincent, Patricia Briggs, Rick Goirdan, etc.

{three} what crowd were you involved in during high school?swimmers and water polo players

{four} what is your favorite thing to do when you have time to yourself?watch a good movie ad do crafts

{five} do you have any hidden talents?I'm double jointed

{six} can you fake any accents?badly why yes

{seven} have you ever been mentioned in the newspaper?yep, twice the first was when Set it Off premiered and there
was a shooting at the theater while I was working; second
was when I was working at the Aquarium and I
gave a child my free pass so he could see the fishes

{eight} have you ever been arrested?NO
{nine} what is your favorite job you’ve had?I liked the theater but I haven't had one yet

{ten} do you have any scars?Yes

Day 7 Christmas Cards

I used to be the type who would
send out Christmas Cards early and
to EVERYONE!
Not anymore.
I bought cute cards with penguins
(they are my fave animal)
or those you can put pictures in
(alas no kids so that doesn't work)
or those 75% off after Christmas
for the following year.

But now I still
have those same
cards
just waiting for
something to be done.

I might send a few out
this year to people
not getting gifts from
me, and let them know
I am thinking of them.

But really I don't see a point
of sending out Christmas Cards
with out kids.

Day 6 Dresses for the Holidays

Um, I don't wear dresses (not one of my favs to wear) so I choose to indulge in the comfy aspect of the Christmas attire. Christmas morning its the pj's and basically all day long it continues. I think the only time I have ever dressed for Christmas time was when my mom, brothers and I went to my friends house and enjoyed a Christmas dinner with all of her family. It was fun and I continue that tradition of going over every year minus the dressy factor.

Day 5 Favorite Christmas Songs

Who says Christmas songs are only for
Christmas. I listen to them all year long.
Currently I can't enough of the Glee
Christmas CD (I'm a PROUD GLEEK).

I also love Michael Bubles "Let it snow" and swoon
worthy voice.

Day 4 Favorite Christmas Movies

Oh I love Christmas movies
from the Classic Rudolf to Santa Baby.
I love watching the 25 days of Christmas
on the ABC Family Channel however, Hallmark
also got into the mix. So this weekend
while I wrap my Christmas gifts I will
be watching all my favs and having hot
coco.

Day 3 Christmas Wish List

As I sit here and think about what I would
wish for this Christmas Season.
In all honesty and totally unrealistic fashion
is to have my ENTIRE family under one roof.

My mom, dad, brothers, cousins, aunts,
uncles, everyone. Share in a great
feast, no FIGHTING, ARGUING and
have a traditional Christmas.

Day 2 Christmas Traditions

I miss the GOOD OLE DAYS!
My dad's parents would have everyone over
I. MEAN.EVERYONE.
There would be tons of food from
Octopus, Squid, Cani, salad,
bread, sea urchin, calimari, crab,
and every fish you could think of.
For those of us who preferred American
food we went to Mikey D's and got
a HAPPY MEAL.

My favorite time was my
Nonno and I making squid. I
being the go for it type of
child would get the LIVE
squid and put them in the sink
and prep them for the feast.
I didn't eat them couldn't after
seeing them alive. But boy
did we have fun cleaning them.
Did I mention I got pinched more
times than I can count and I had
to wear black because they would
ink me. Poor buggers.

My dad was in charge along with
many of his brothers, cooking the fish.
The women (or sisters) would do the rest.

Can you image over 30 people in a house all
getting along and eating. Speaking Italian and I
being a full fledged American understanding
and laughing along with them. The kids of
course had to sit at the kids table but we
would sneak salad and extra bread and
just GRUB.

That was a tradition that we did every
Christmas EVE. I miss those times. I miss
being with family and just enjoying the time
together. It was never about opening
gifts it was the true meaning
and what I plan to instill into my children.
That family makes the season not what
you expect to get from others.

Day 1 Christmas Decorations

After reading this you may call me SCROOGE. But its with a heavy heart that I dislike this Holiday Season. So putting up decorations let's say not my favorite thing to do and the aftermath well I would rather pull out my eye lashes one by one. BLAH

I like seeing them at other peoples houses and going around to the different houses seeing their outside decor but in actuality I would rather have my home remain the same. Now it will change when I have children but for now I will bring the scrooge.

Day 29..Truth be told 30 days

Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted

I am terrible at keeping in touch with people
really I suck at it and it is something
that I am working on constantly.
So those who read this and I haven't
seen or talked to you in forever I am sorry
and know that I do think about you.

Day 1: a new challenge for 30 days

I know I know I was doing a different 30 day challenge but I lost the list and can't finish...so I found a new one. Here goes

My middle name and how do I feel about it...

Well it is Marie. Yep that's it I know boring, right? I really have no feelings about it because it goes with my entire name and there is no special reason behind it.
It is blah and I wished growing up that I had a different first name along with middle but that didn't work out. Needless to say I don't dislike my middle name but I don't love it either.

For that reason I have really great children names. The ones I wanted growing up are ridiculous and not going to work....Stay tuned for those awesometastic name selection reveal...

Wee bit of me Wednesday v 22

{one} do you collect anything? if so, what and how long have you been collecting?
Penguins since I was 7 years old, cd's and music.

{two} what is one cleaning tip that you swear by?
open to assistance

{three} who would you call for bail money?

my mom or friends

{four} what is one thing you miss about being a kid?
everything

{five} name a few of your guilty pleasures.
mountain dew and fruity pebbles

{six} how early do you start your holiday shopping?
already started in april

{seven} what is a family tradition that you would like to pass on to your significant other/children?
What Christmas really is with all the family around playing card games.

{eight} what do you consider your greatest achievement?
graduating College first in my family of over 1000

{nine} what do you do to pamper yourself?
my hair colored but haven't done that in forever.

{ten} if you were to start your own restaurant, what would it be called?
Whatever, because when people ask what do you want

its either whatever or i don't know

Day 19....

Truth be told for 30 days

What do you think of religion? or what do you think of politics?

Touchy subject and I like it!!


What I think about religion?

Well I don't believe in the traditional church,
give me your money, and I will preach my
interpretation of the bible type of religion.
Basically, organized religion I have issues with.

I do however have a relationship with god,
I do believe in certain things which I will
keep to myself and I believe you have the right
to believe in whomever you choose as long as it
does not hurt anyone or thing.

I have never been to a church that made me
feel welcome, that all they wanted was my money,
and had no real understanding of the bible.
I don't like how women are portrayed and how
in this day and age it is still taught. How they do
not believe in teaching birth control and absence.
How they blame everything else on the "women"
of the family and not once looking towards others or fix
the situation.
I could go on.
Just know that I have a spiritual connection and that
I believe in some things.

What are my views on politics?

Well religion doesn't belong in it. That
all politicians will tell you what you want to hear
instead of the truth. I would give all
my support for a politician
who said "this is what I am going to do, many
will not like it or be behind it. I am being realistic
and will do my best. I do not like this, this and this.
I back this and this. And because
I am in the public eye hear are my skeletons."

I have a hard time with trust
and during this time of year my radar is in full
swing.
Politicians =liars

Not a fan of politics
its not something I talk about
or tend to start a conversation by.
In fact I stay clear of it.

Day 18

Truth be told for 30 days

My view on Gay Marriage

First, let me start this by saying
I want equality for everyone!!
No discrimination for religion, gender, sexual
orientation, size, race, etc.
I do not discriminate yet I know
what it is like to be
discriminated against. IT SUCKS!
Therefore, if you do not want to read further
please move on to next post.

Second, here is my take on the issue.
I think everyone has the right to be with
whom they choose. Regardless!!!
I don't' think religion should be a factor
because religion does not belong in politics
and this has been made into a politics issue.
When it is not. This has to do with equal rights
EQUAL rights for everyone.

Third, does this involve me? NO!
Do I think people who it doesn't affect have
the right to protest or say
their opinion? NO!
I know I know free speech, etc. But
those individuals take it TOO far. They bring in
religion and rights. What about the
rights of those choosing to marry
someone who is the same gender. WHO CARES!!
That is just that THEIR CHOICE!
They should have every right everyone else does.

Lastly, it infuriates me when people say they are
going to hell for committing a sin. Um have you
realized your committing a sin by JUDGING THEM.
Doing horrible things unto your NEIGHBOR.
KILLING their spirit and denying them equal
rights which our four fathers fought for??
What skeletons do you have in your closet that
your afraid of? What if someone told you that
you could no longer be who you are?

America is home of the free not
home of the some free and others you hide.

Day 17

A book that I read that changed my views on something...

Day 16 truth be told

I read a lot..well I try to read
as much as possible.

I can remember reading Herland in High School
and what it entails, how strong it made me feel,
and just how the authors mind set
had to be to write such forward thinking
and provactive material.

I have been looking for that book
for sometime. The book stores are either
not carrying it any longer, its out of print,
or they don't have a copy. UGH

So I keep searching and wait
patiently..........

Still waiting........

then there's the book that
I believe every young adult should
read and NO its not TWILIGHT....
LOL

Lord of the Flies....
Then of course see the movie.

That book made me think about how
society is today and how correct that
book was to date.

As you can tell I don't enjoy romance
books...well not full on romance.
I like mystery (thinking books), science fiction,
chick lit, and young adult books.
Take a look at what I read this year and what
I recommend reading..
Also if you have any authors you like
let me know and I will check them out.
My authors have no new books out so
I am always on the lookout for new
authors to follow.

Day 16

Someone or something you definitely
could live without!!



i am going to take the high road on this one
and refer to something instead of the someone!!
the someone is not worth mentioning...to much power
given when spoken about.
So on to the something!!
Let's just lay it out there...i could do without
the extra weight...not talking about little
I mean all of the extra weight.
i have never been "thin" except when i was
a child. which really does that count?

i know where my food issue steams from
and until i get out of the situation it will never get better.
so until then i try each day to make the choices
i should be making and try changing my stars.

So cheers to changing my stars.!

wee bit oh wednesday on a thursday v21

{one} do you still use a checkbook?Yes, but mostly pay bills online and debit card for purchases.

{two} what size shoe do you wear?10 when my feet are not so swollen

{three} scary movies or happy endings?I want to know what happens after the happy ending

{four} do you prefer spontaneity or stability?stability.

{five} what is the most embarrassing cd that you own?um most like backstreet boys

{six} do you watch reality tv?yes, i am a reality tv-aholic

{seven} what is your favorite home-made meal?Anything my mother makes..mmmmmm

{eight} do you have any allergies?yes and more coming daily

{nine} if you could open your own restaurant/store, what would it be?i would open a craft/food store that way my mom could do what she loves

{ten} would you ever go skydiving (or have you been)?no FEAR OF FALLING

Day 15..Truth be told

Something or someone you couldn't live without,
because you've tried living without it

Gonna take a pass on this one.
I"M SICK..until next time.

Day 14 Truth just tell it

A band or artist that has gotten you through some
tough ass days..

I don't really think I used music...but thanks for that

OHHH Day 13 to tell the truth

Something you never get compliments on.....

Wow this list is long and for once I will be modest and tell people what they should compliment me on..

1. I'm awesome-wait I do get those next...
2. I am very selfless. I think of others way to much.
3. EXtremly loyal
   
4. I have a big heart. Not in the huge heart in the body just when it comes to people and giving.
5. Brutally honest and I love that
6. I love my sense of humor although I think I am mentioned that before
7. I keep it real
   
8. I don't think I know everything but I am interested in learning more
   
9. I have a great work ethic.
   
10. I am a great driver well I got that this weekend but still I AM so there!!
11. Even though I don't have any followers I continue to blog and hope for the best.
12. I am optimistic see above.
13. I pat myself on the back on not going ape on my friend who thinks she knows everything.
    

Day 12 Truth be told

Blogger is being a tard so I can't upload any pictures or the pretty header that Courtney did so alas I must do without.

Moving on.....
Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know...

At times there are people who annoy me (I am Taurus and a bull you do the math) and often times
there are those who I would like to punch in the face.
But I do refrain a LOT....

However there is one person who I wish I had never had the displeasure of knowing. She was/is a THIEF, HOODLUM, MANIPULATIVE CANTANKEROUS, LYING, SCHEMING, person who would steal her mothers life if she could get away with it.

She came into my friends life at a time where she was vulnerable and needed someone there all the time. ALEX was that person. She swindled her way into her life to steal her identity and boy did she.

I am not going to go into detail but the outcome was that on April 1st the police showed up to arrest her and she was taken to jail, did some time and is now out free. Be careful who you let into your life, do a background check if you have too but be careful.

Happy Birthday 23rd Lil Bro

My lil bro turns 23 years old today.

I can still remember what I was doing at 1:45am

Halloween Day!!

My life was forever changed. I asked my

Parents to send him back. Back where no idea

And really didn’t care, just send him BACK!!

He grew up to be a very handsome, healthy,

Charming young man. He is

Married, sorry ladies and he has

Taken to fatherhood like a champ.

When he got married this year his

Wife my SIL had 3 precious youngens,

He loves them as his own, and you would never

Know they were not biologically his.

My lil bro has grown into an amazing person

Who at times drives me batty and questioned.

Why they didn’t at least try to send him back.

But can’t imagine my life without!

So lil bro on today’s Halloween I wish

You HappY BirthdaY and cheers to many

Many, many more.

LOVE YOU LOTS

SISSY

Day 11 Truth be told

Day 11 Something People seem to compliment you the most on

Oddly my hair. I think like everyone
I have good hair days and horrible hair days.
And on those horrible hair days people
tend to like my hair.
Recently, well for more than a year
I have been wearing it the same way
in a pony tail sort of off my face and out of the
way.

It needs to be dyed and trimmed just haven't
had the time or energy to do it.

so those who think my hair is
pretty thank you!!

Day 10...Truth be told for 30 Days

Day 7....Someone who has made you life worth living for...

Not gonna share this one

Day 9.....

Something I hope I never have to do…..

Losing someone close to me…

We bit of Wednesday V20

{one} have you ever seen a ghost?Yes, and my roommates and I named it Erin/Aaron. Also in houses I have lived as a kid.

{two} when was the last time you dressed up for Halloween?Last year, I wore a sash that said "Your worst nightmare".

{three} what’s your favorite candy?Baby Ruth Crisp

{four} did you have a favorite costume growing up?Princess Leah

{five} did you carve pumpkins this year?No, I don't really like doing that, not much of a Holiday person unless I am off of work.

{six} what’s your favorite scary movie?Scream 1-3. NOT really scary but so funny.

{seven} haunted houses or corn mazes?Haunted Houses

{eight} are you superstitious?Not all the time.

{nine} have you ever owned a black cat?No I have a black and white one.

{ten} what are you plans for this coming Halloween?Celebrating my lil bro's 24th Birthday.

Day 8

Someone who made your life hell,
or treated you like SH!T.

I am going to follow code here
and do the correct day.
No applause necessary.

It's not often that someone treats me like crap.
I don't take it.
But for the past few years I have
been getting crap from
my employers, family and some friends.
I am not going to go into detail because
well I have either done something about it
or gotten over it.

But I will say that it is up to you to change your stars.

Day 7 Truth be told for 30 Days

Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for!!

Without going into details I have chosen
to forgive and forget the individuals.
They have affected my relationships
with others, made me insecure,
and took my confidence.
They did things that no one should ever
have to go through.
Although I believe in Karma
and they are getting what they
deserve 10 fold. I
don't wish them any harm
just to know that they will never
be in my eyes a human
again. They will be the animal
they portrayed when I was little and took
away what they had no right too.

Shame on you...

Twisted Tuesday

Have you ever had the feeling you should have stayed in bed. That was today for me.

On the way to work I almost got hit by A SEMI and then side swiped by a Honda Accord, within 5 seconds of each other. For some reason they wanted to join me in my lane as I am passing them. Lovely, I used my horn a great deal this morning and hopefully this day doesn't get any worse.

OH but wait did I forget to mention the jerk-terdface that was going to take me out for a taco and a drink. Yep that's right the FORD lady did a huge turn because apparently her car is too big for a DRIVE THRU so she makes this wide u-turn and ends up at the entrance when I am half way in, and proceeds to keep going. Really, really you are that hungry that you would hit someone who was clearly in the right just to get your breakfast burrito and a drink. By all means Ranch-hole go right ahead, I am not late for work or anything. Plus please please cut me off and have me back up so you can get through without scratching my car.

Travelers beware for the Drive Thru cut off it could happen to you.

Day 8 Truth be told for 30 Days

Oops I mean Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life. Be a mother. I want to either adopt and have children naturally if still possible.

Day 6 Truth be told for 30 Days

Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for....

I don't really need to forgive myself of anything. I am hard on myself for things but that has to do with my weight issues and relationship with food.

I guess I could forgive myself for going off on all the diets and gaining weight. However, I have figured out something that could work for me I just have to stop Procrastinating and do it.

That's my plan is to just do it. I'm somewhat boring don't like consequences so I was a good girl growing up.

Day 5 Truth be told for 30 Days

Something you hope to do with your life......

In previous posts I may have mentioned the difficulty I will have conceiving my own children. I was told at 15 yrs old that it was a slim to none chance. And at 18 yrs old I decided to adopt.

Something I hope to do with my life is give a chance to someone. Give them a loving home, health and LOVE. I want a little girl about 3-5 yrs old who I can help mold, educate and watch her grow to be a beautiful person.

First I realize the hardships of a single parent. Doing this all on my own. But why else would I feel chosen for this purpose. I'm not religious but I feel something that is telling me that I am meant to be someone's mother. I am meant to love and cherish a young person and help guide them to be who they are meant to be in life. Give them opportunities that I had as a child and give them a chance in life.

Second, it would be easier with someone in my life but like I said before I do not need a man to take care of me. I am looking for a man to compliment and add to my life not be my life. If I have a child when I meet him then he needs to accept both of us or none.

Third, I have a great support system and am taking measures in life to get to the point where I am able to be a mother for this child.

I do not know her name, what she looks like or who she is but I am excited for the opportunity when I do.