As 2009 comes to an end I am not going to write or reflect on how the year went because I can use one word. UGH. My list of life for 2010 is long and yet I seem more excited than I have been for some time. The rut I have been drowning in has somehow disappeared and I can finally see the top. I am going to view 2009 as a learning year of what I do not want any longer and the reason why I am at a place to make a difference.
For the past few years I have not made any resolutions because "who doesn't break them?", instead I am making life plans that have no end date. My resolution is not to make a resolution which I have been successful at doing. No more dieting, or putting self on other silly restrictions. I am going to do what I want to do and enjoy doing it.
I am looking forward to going on a cruise, first real vacation since I went to Europe in 93'. I am doing me this year and getting to a place to really live. Making the possibility of being a mother come true in the very distant future. Moving up and away.
Happy New Year friends enjoy your family for you are the lucky ones.
December 31, 2009
December 30, 2009
The beat goes on
As previously stated 2010 is a year of change for me. I am not going to waste time on reflection of the past year or give sob stories or regrets. I am going to look forward and be productive in 2010. Early in the year I made a list that I wanted to do or have completed. I got 2 out however many I did. Well no more. I am make a list and going to stick to it no matter how long it takes. I just hope number happens by February cause then ahhh smooth sailing.
So to all my friends in blog land here's to you and your family this Holiday Season. Have a great New Year and 2010.
So to all my friends in blog land here's to you and your family this Holiday Season. Have a great New Year and 2010.
Back to school
Starting in January I will be going back to school. My college career took me a long time and even when I graduated I had no idea what I wanted to do. I worked at a law firm, and currently at a non-profit. But it was working at the non-profit that I figured what my life was meant to be doing. That was helping children and their families deal with assault. I see everyday the impact that assault has on the victims. At the law firm I saw the other side. Although I morally had a problem with helping the perpetrator I didn't have a choice, everyone is entitled to counsel and therefore a fair chance to prove innocence. However, it was my job to do that I just couldn't. I didn't have the stomach so to speak. Honestly, I didn't have the heart to defend someone who hurt someone else. I wanted to help the person they wronged.
I am excited for the first time academically. I have a new passion and life back. I am starting up my hobby again and really take it to the next level. I don't mean to sell the pictures or anything but just for me.
Here's to school and furthering my career.
I am excited for the first time academically. I have a new passion and life back. I am starting up my hobby again and really take it to the next level. I don't mean to sell the pictures or anything but just for me.
Here's to school and furthering my career.
December 29, 2009
Diamonds are a girls best friend
I just love random titles....I have great friends in my life. They are forgiving, generous, humorous, loyal, and good people. Many I have known for many years and although I don't see them all the time, when we do get together it is like time has not passed between us. Over the last year I have not realized how lucky I am to have these women in my life. Things have changed in their lives, getting married, boyfriends, children, growing up (so to speak), moving, just them living their lives. However, it always comes back to us as friends. We share different stories and talk about different things but somehow those women remain in my life and take me for who I am as a person. Not requiring me to change or become something I am not. I can be me around them and they see exactly who I am. I believe that we are all still growing and becoming who were are supposed to be in this life and the fact that we can still come back to the same point together means a great deal.
Not everyone can say they have friends who I think would lay down in traffic for me. First many would beg the question why is she in traffic but they would be there for me in an instant no matter where they are they would be there.
When I was a kid growing up I thought friends were people you grew to be like that they always had something better or hiding something a secret to living. But that lasted about a minute till I figured that they were on a journey as I am to find who they were meant to become. Some of them became it right away (lucky) but others like me required more time on the journey to carve the path that they chose.
In a sense we are still carving our path out and trying to enjoy what comes our way. For the past week I have reflected on what has happened to my path. I was so passionate about my life and kind of gave up my life to help my family. I sort of gave up on my path. I promised myself last year that I wouldn't make a new years resolution, but this year I am making a few of them and starting with getting back to my OWN PATH.
So for 2010 I want to say to my Diamonds ladies this is our year to shine. So SHINE ON and enjoy your path for this is our time.
Not everyone can say they have friends who I think would lay down in traffic for me. First many would beg the question why is she in traffic but they would be there for me in an instant no matter where they are they would be there.
When I was a kid growing up I thought friends were people you grew to be like that they always had something better or hiding something a secret to living. But that lasted about a minute till I figured that they were on a journey as I am to find who they were meant to become. Some of them became it right away (lucky) but others like me required more time on the journey to carve the path that they chose.
In a sense we are still carving our path out and trying to enjoy what comes our way. For the past week I have reflected on what has happened to my path. I was so passionate about my life and kind of gave up my life to help my family. I sort of gave up on my path. I promised myself last year that I wouldn't make a new years resolution, but this year I am making a few of them and starting with getting back to my OWN PATH.
So for 2010 I want to say to my Diamonds ladies this is our year to shine. So SHINE ON and enjoy your path for this is our time.
December 23, 2009
Write the good ones already
I can't remember the last time that I bought a cd and was excited about it, besides Glee. Where is all the music written by talented people and sang that made the person purchasing smile. I haven't heard a cd where I was like WOW that was awesome I love every song on it.
I am putting a call to everyone who has ever felt they wrote the best song. Send it out and find someone to sing it already. I am tired of listening to the same of stuff on the radio. Play something great already.
I am putting a call to everyone who has ever felt they wrote the best song. Send it out and find someone to sing it already. I am tired of listening to the same of stuff on the radio. Play something great already.
December 18, 2009
Baa humbug
I am not a religious person. Meaning I don't go to church on holidays, Sundays or any day ending in a y. However, I believe there is something greater out there and I am not talking aliens. I pray to to a higher power and don't feel I must go to the place that was designated "worship" place to be heard. I just don't agree with the organized church situation. I believe that we were all put on this Earth for some purpose and it is our job to find out why.
The part that organized religion has that I don't like is the fact that it discriminates against others . Whether another religion, gender, sex, orientation, etc. Who are we to judge others!! I realize that others may disagree and may have words to say or what have you. I was raised learning right from wrong and to treat others how you would like to be treated. I speak my mind and am not afraid to express how I feel about something. I do not judge well I try not too. I don't care who you love or what you love. I would hope that the choice made would be of the appropriate age.
I am not saying that all religious places follow the creed of giving half your salary or more than what you can afford. I believe the higher power realizes you must eat. Giving to others is a great thing. But when the person who is leading the service drives up in a Mercedes or Corvette I start to question things.
I question the bible and the beliefs that I was taught because of how it was writen. Especially how women are viewed by some men to this day.
I would hope that when I become a mother that my child or children learn about different religions and choose which one fits them. However, a cult is not a religion period.
In the past month I have been given the job of Adopt-a-family and honestly at times I feel like the grinch. There are those that when you tell them that Santa is going to be here and you get a free picture with Santa they start to cry. That melts your heart of course. Then you get the so um yeah give me my presents and then they complain about what they get or ask for a receipt so they can exchange them to get money. I feel like telling them where to go and take the gifts back. Today's youth has lost sight of what Christmas is and what it stands for; not just a day to have off from school or I get lots of gifts. But the fact that your family is able to be together.
So this holiday season think of the people over fighting for us, those with homes, individuals who are without family and hold yours a little closer.
Happy Holidays to one and all.
The part that organized religion has that I don't like is the fact that it discriminates against others . Whether another religion, gender, sex, orientation, etc. Who are we to judge others!! I realize that others may disagree and may have words to say or what have you. I was raised learning right from wrong and to treat others how you would like to be treated. I speak my mind and am not afraid to express how I feel about something. I do not judge well I try not too. I don't care who you love or what you love. I would hope that the choice made would be of the appropriate age.
I am not saying that all religious places follow the creed of giving half your salary or more than what you can afford. I believe the higher power realizes you must eat. Giving to others is a great thing. But when the person who is leading the service drives up in a Mercedes or Corvette I start to question things.
I question the bible and the beliefs that I was taught because of how it was writen. Especially how women are viewed by some men to this day.
I would hope that when I become a mother that my child or children learn about different religions and choose which one fits them. However, a cult is not a religion period.
In the past month I have been given the job of Adopt-a-family and honestly at times I feel like the grinch. There are those that when you tell them that Santa is going to be here and you get a free picture with Santa they start to cry. That melts your heart of course. Then you get the so um yeah give me my presents and then they complain about what they get or ask for a receipt so they can exchange them to get money. I feel like telling them where to go and take the gifts back. Today's youth has lost sight of what Christmas is and what it stands for; not just a day to have off from school or I get lots of gifts. But the fact that your family is able to be together.
So this holiday season think of the people over fighting for us, those with homes, individuals who are without family and hold yours a little closer.
Happy Holidays to one and all.
December 11, 2009
All in your mind
Over the course of a year I have noticed that my fear of certain things has changed and grown in some instances. I have full control over my fears and yet they still keep me from doing things that I would normally due.
I have a fear of falling and but not from airplanes (although um not happening); but from standing on a chair. Yes, a chair. In the past I have fallen off of horses, bikes, beds, trees, etc. But I have the hardest time standing on a ladder or chair to get something high. Even stools freak me out. I know that its in my head but I realized that because I have such horrible balance in general; I feel uncomfortable being up there. Therefore, I keep my feet on the ground.
My goals or whatever for this coming year do not include working on this. I have tried and failed. However, when I have to get up on a chair or place that is clearly an obstacle due to my balance I grab on and go for it.
so until I get over it, I will just deal with the fact that I don't like heights.
I have a fear of falling and but not from airplanes (although um not happening); but from standing on a chair. Yes, a chair. In the past I have fallen off of horses, bikes, beds, trees, etc. But I have the hardest time standing on a ladder or chair to get something high. Even stools freak me out. I know that its in my head but I realized that because I have such horrible balance in general; I feel uncomfortable being up there. Therefore, I keep my feet on the ground.
My goals or whatever for this coming year do not include working on this. I have tried and failed. However, when I have to get up on a chair or place that is clearly an obstacle due to my balance I grab on and go for it.
so until I get over it, I will just deal with the fact that I don't like heights.
December 09, 2009
Christmas of plenty
My favorite memory of when my brothers were 3 and 6 respectfully was when they would wake up early (5 am) Christmas morning. They would first go to my parents room and bring their stockings, after they have already opened everything inside of them. They had to share with them how good they were because Santa came. Then my mom would make coffee and Christmas goodness cake (coffee cake, so good....mmmmm). My mom would make them wait until at least 6 am to wake me up, my dad set up the video camera to capture every hilarious moment.
At 6 am sharp they would be waiting outside my door that was closed giggling until my mom gave the OK boys to come bombard me with "look what Santa brought, look look....". They would both proceed to dump their stockings on my bed to show me everything. From the toys, chocolate, socks, etc....They the 6 year old would put all their stuff back into their stockings so the 4 year old could dump mine. Forgetting that they had already been through my stocking and took out, unwrapped, and bit what was in there. In fact the 6 year old was wearing my new watch and scarf, 3 year old had chocolate all over his face and was playing with my new unwrapped CD that I had already (good luck taking that one back). They would make me get up to see what else was left for them by Santa.
As a family we opened gifts and video taped the entire thing from the oohs and ahhhs to the oh great thanks for that's. I got a kick out of the faces both my brothers would make and the caios the would ensue. When one would open a gift that the other liked and they would want to open to play, and vice versa. It took a long time to open gifts and the laughter would last a lifetime.
The fact that I got more happiness having my family open what I had picked out specifically for them is better than any gift I could have gotten from them. Being together and playing games, opening the toys for them to enjoy and having them so excited to show me what they had makes me want that time back.
So this Christmas season give the gift of a smile or a laugh. Forge memories for that is the true gift.
What is your gift of plenty?
At 6 am sharp they would be waiting outside my door that was closed giggling until my mom gave the OK boys to come bombard me with "look what Santa brought, look look....". They would both proceed to dump their stockings on my bed to show me everything. From the toys, chocolate, socks, etc....They the 6 year old would put all their stuff back into their stockings so the 4 year old could dump mine. Forgetting that they had already been through my stocking and took out, unwrapped, and bit what was in there. In fact the 6 year old was wearing my new watch and scarf, 3 year old had chocolate all over his face and was playing with my new unwrapped CD that I had already (good luck taking that one back). They would make me get up to see what else was left for them by Santa.
As a family we opened gifts and video taped the entire thing from the oohs and ahhhs to the oh great thanks for that's. I got a kick out of the faces both my brothers would make and the caios the would ensue. When one would open a gift that the other liked and they would want to open to play, and vice versa. It took a long time to open gifts and the laughter would last a lifetime.
The fact that I got more happiness having my family open what I had picked out specifically for them is better than any gift I could have gotten from them. Being together and playing games, opening the toys for them to enjoy and having them so excited to show me what they had makes me want that time back.
So this Christmas season give the gift of a smile or a laugh. Forge memories for that is the true gift.
What is your gift of plenty?
December 08, 2009
A Christmas Story
My fondest memory of Christmas was when I was around 10-12 and it was at my Nana's house. All the family was present and I was lucky to be with my Nono in the kitchen cooking some type of fish. I got to clean the squid and play with the ink sacks. We had of course lots of fish but I remember this hug wooden bowl of salad that my Nono would make and put his special salad dressing on (oil, vinegar, season for taste) and ponea (bread on the side). All the grown ups of course would sit at the big table and the kids on the floor at the small table. During dinner all you would hear is the loud talking and Italian words being said throughout the amazing feast.
Its not that I miss the food or anything of that sort. I miss the family togetherness that today is not found like it was then. I understood the Italian that they spoke, loved playing games with familiy at the table, and spending time with everyone. That to me was the best time of the year. Christmas to me now is not exciting like it was when I was a kid. I dont' mean the presents and such. Just the family aspect of it. I miss the fun times with Cousins and Older generations, the talking about everything not everyone and just the sense of love in the room. Today its whose house am I going to be at and drama.
I know its reaching and am wishing on some pretty big stars when it comes to a possible reunion of everyone. There are cousins that I have never even met that have children. Uncles and Aunts I haven't seen in years and really want those in my family to bury what ever hatchet they have been hanging on too and move forward. There are not many people in the world that you can call family and I wish mine would start.
Here's to wishful thinking and a lot of dreaming.
Its not that I miss the food or anything of that sort. I miss the family togetherness that today is not found like it was then. I understood the Italian that they spoke, loved playing games with familiy at the table, and spending time with everyone. That to me was the best time of the year. Christmas to me now is not exciting like it was when I was a kid. I dont' mean the presents and such. Just the family aspect of it. I miss the fun times with Cousins and Older generations, the talking about everything not everyone and just the sense of love in the room. Today its whose house am I going to be at and drama.
I know its reaching and am wishing on some pretty big stars when it comes to a possible reunion of everyone. There are cousins that I have never even met that have children. Uncles and Aunts I haven't seen in years and really want those in my family to bury what ever hatchet they have been hanging on too and move forward. There are not many people in the world that you can call family and I wish mine would start.
Here's to wishful thinking and a lot of dreaming.
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